Within hours of my January 30 post Ladies, your clock really is ticking: 88% of eggs lost by age 30, I already had two responses, both negative. Seems the information presented in the post, which I had retrieved from The London Telegraph, struck a nerve.
Saturday before the Divine Service, I mentioned these responses to a young friend of mine (late 20′s, married with no kids), and asked her what she thought about it. She said that she didn’t understand why people were reacting so negatively. She also suggested that a lot of women had so swallowed the contemporary myth about education and a career being more important than marriage and family that they could not conceive (no pun intended) of it any other way.
Here’s a third comment from the anonymous “Guest” (I can track IPs), which was posted this evening. I believe that this comment and the others shows the deep conflict of having the God-given natural desire to have a husband and children and not being able to fulfill that desire. In fact, it’s worse: Society fights against that natural desire, and the Church fails to support it. Goodness, we are Kantians, aren’t we?
My comments follow the quote.
Um, thanks for the advice, but from my observations most of the Christian young women in their 20s who are “focusing on their career” do so because it’s the only vocation the Lord has opened for them at the moment.
Yes, they have put off marriage until after college but after that marker they are open, waiting, and trying to remain busy and useful. Spreading information like this is only likely to make a situation already viewed as desperate more disheartening. You would do better to focus on why there is a dearth of Christian men with enough character to be entrusted with the headship of a household. I’m not saying they don’t exist, but the numbers seem to be stacked against the Christian women.
My response:
Let’s look at your argument.
First, you present anecdotal evidence (your observations), upon which you make a theological judgment (for some women, career is the the only vocation the Lord has opened). That’s a very poor foundation.
Second, your argument is a form of the is/ought fallacy. Just because some people “are” single does not mean that they “should” be single.
Third, and closely connected to the above, your argument fails to take into consideration human choice. As such, it cannot explain why a) some women choose marriage and motherhood over a career; b) other women choose both marriage and motherhood and a career.
Fourth, your argument is not derived from Scripture or Natural Law. God does not create special sexual organs for singleness. He creates us male and female for the purposes of procreation and mutual aid. He pronounces that creation “good.”
As far as your accusation that “spreading information like this is only likely to make a situation already viewed as desperate more disheartening,” to be logically consistent you would likewise have to protest warning labels on cigarette packs or child car seats.
If you have any other concerns about fertility issues, please consult your doctor.
Then again, let’s take “Guest’s” last two sentences seriously. Why is there an apparent dearth of responsible Christian men? Aren’t Web sites like eharmony.com helping? What is the Church doing to put men and women together and helping them to stay that way? Where are the sermons on Christian marriage, or those exhorting men to be responsible? I know the Catholics have a marriage initiative. Are there others? Readers?
